Long Distance... Relationships

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI27Y5foYCI
("Here we go again" - Ray Charles & Norah Jones)

Andei cá pensando com meus botões e acho que vou ser bem curto e grosso. Não gosto, não quero, não me atrai, não estou com vontade. Nem pensar. E nem SEM pensar. Aliás, nem dá PRA pensar.

I’ve been thinking and guess this time I’ll be as clear as I should, or could, or must be. I don’t like. I’ve never liked. I’ll never like. That’s not the way I do. That’s, for sure, not the way I think. It’s just it. No re-thinking, no re-analyzing, no nothing. No anything.

Funny that I started in Portuguese and than shifted to English. Weird because I don’t do it on purpose, it’s not as if I intend to do that. Sometimes my texts just come to me in English. Not The best English, not the perfect English, but my fingers just start to tap the pad in English.

Anyway, let’s try to finish what I started. As I was saying, before been rudely interrupted by myself (my best guess is that my mind was trying to sabotage my fingers, punish them for not follow his orders), I’ve been thinking. And I found myself in a mess, in a funny situation. But… if it’s funny, why am I not laughing?

I’ve got lots of net friends. Lots, indeed. More than a hundred. Much more. Much much more. And I like them all. OK, maybe not everyone. Maybe not ALL of them. And, for sure, not all of them with the same, how can I say? Intensity? Feelings? Don’t now…

And, again, here I am. Missing my point. Again. This reminds me of a beautiful music, “Here we go again”. Think I’ll put it on this text. (And, again, another detour…)

Well… I don’t believe in long distance relationships. That’s what I came here to say. I don’t believe and I don’t like. And I’m not going to be dragged into one. Not… again. (Yes, this “again” means I’ve already been there) (And no, I’m not going to say anything about it now).

I know that there are couples that are really happy with this kind of relationship. There are some that even got married. I personally know one or two, and I’m really happy for them. Wish them all the happiness possible. From my heart. But it’s not something that I want for me, for myself. Unfortunately.

To make a long history short, I need someone present in my life. And by present, I’m not saying by email, phone or MSN. I need someone to hold, to feel, to touch. Someone to look in the eyes, to kiss, to hold, to walk side by side. And to do whatever else we want to do.

So, again… I am not going to put myself in a long distance relationship. Although there are some women that thinks differently, and some women that can make ME think differently, I’m not. No, not because it’s hard. Or because it’s complicated. No, hard and complicated are adjectives that can be applied to all relationships. It’s just that… it’s not for me. Fortunate or unfortunately.